have you ever wished for the end?

my mom keeps on telling me that there is “light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what.”

shit, i smashed that light and closed my own fucking tunnel a long time ago.

here’s an update.

i admitted to my friend chris about all of my thoughts of suicide, how tempting it is, how everything would just be easier this way. he responded by telling me how unique i am, how im not the “average girl”, how i have so much going for me, how lucky i am, what an amazing friend and human in general i am.

the question that was running through my head the entire time was, “so why does no one like me?”

and so i asked him. and he couldn’t come up with a satisfactory response.

And I can’t stop crying today. No one cares. This is great. I hope I die in my sleep.

I want to kill myself so fucking badly. So very badly. I want to take a pair of scissors and gouge and cut my insides out.

My dad doesn’t care I’m bulimic this is great really.